fakedick:

Hey, if you accidentally call a guy “daddy” in conversation, just save yourself by adding “-o” to the end and slick your hair back like a 1950’s greaser. And throw on your sick-ass leather jacket

Your thirst is hidden and now you’re the coolest dude in school

jesse talks a lot, mumbles, gets clumsy, flustered and wide-eyed when he’s shy, nervous and lying this is LITERALLY a fact and it’s SO cute holy shit

ikea-graveyard:

Okay this white dude had a black girlfriend and they were walking by me and the dude said, “you know what babe, realtors are so lazy when it comes to financing” and she literally replied with, “why do you have to talk about the most boring shit, Steve”.

drakefan666:

caseynovaks:

adam sandler is sexy as hell in hotel Transylvania 

how dare you make me read this with my own two eyes

“and I’m over it,
I’m over it,
I promise I’m over it.
But it still hurts sometimes.” — laura elizabeth ross (via lauraelizabethross)

bruinsstrong:

This story keeps on getting better and better